Disclaimer: This is my own person view of this subject from the my past and my view of today.
**Tra-di-tion (n.) The doctrines, knowledge, practices, and customs passed down from one generation to another. (Webster)**
In the recent past I hear so many people screaming, "This is traditional ..this is not". Seriously ??? If an idea or practice was taught to you from your mentor, then that has become YOUR tradition. Recently I have been doing a lot of research on what I was brought to believe was "Old School", I am finding that most of the "traditions" I was taught as "old school" are really just from the 70's and early 80's.
My musings are ...
Does this make them old school ? Does this "time frame" make them any less valid ? Many of the things I learned in the 80's came from the bar scene as "the way it is". Not, this is traditional behavior, but this is how we do things, End of Story. Do I pass these things on that I learned as "This is the way it is". No more , no less, or do I take ownership of what was passed down to me and say "This is MY tradition" ?
My answer:
Yes, the things that were passed down to me from my friends and mentors from the generations before me are MY traditions. Many things from the gay bar scene don't work in my current relationship or community. So I have modified them to my life. Many of them I have practiced in my own "Life~style" and they work, so I have kept them.
Damn the more answers I get the more questions become reality ...
By changing them to suit my "Life~Style", have I diluted them down? or Have I kept the value and integrity that was taught to me? I hope and pray that the small changes I make to the traditions that were taught to me does nothing but change the wording, not the meaning, the value or the spirituality of these things.
**Pro-to-col (n.) The codes and rules of diplomatic and state etiquette. (Webster)**
My musings are....
In our subculture this would be translated to me as *"The codes and rules of interpersonal and community etiquette"*. Okay, so who makes these rules ? Who sets the codes ? If they are rules, who enforces them ? If they are "codes" who teaches them ?
My answer;
Many of our "Code of Conduct" has been passed down from the leaders before us, the clubs that have formed and tried these rules on themselves. Yes, we steal them from other, wiser, more experienced people. There are many "Codes" that have been set in writing over the past decades, with a little research they can be found very easily in our web-generation. Personal "Codes of Conduct" I believe are monumental in setting my personal "Moral Compass". Without my moral compass I can't say for me what is "right" or "wrong".
I believe "rules" are set by each community, and are enforced by said community. In my past there were things ..You Just didn't do ... breaking these rules got you reprimanded, and if the actions continued, you were no longer invited to social events. Hereby "8~balled" from the community. In my past there were "Masters", "Grand Masters" and an informal "Council of Elders" that made such calls. In todays Now Generation I don't see that as a Viable solution. So what is the solution ..I don't know.
(out of time ... to many questions .. head hurts ... to be continued later)
Friday, August 15, 2014
Community ?
I humbly ask that we as a culture quit referring to ourselves as a "community". We are not, we are a population of kinksters, ropesters, leather people.
For there to be a community it means that we are unified with something in common. Honestly, we have small collections of people who might be unified for a season on a specific topic.
IMHO, the worst thing to happen in the past 3 decades was the creation of BDSM as an umbrella label.
The Bondage people (see rope) still hang with mostly their own, educate their own and create their own Cultures.
The Discipline people (see D/s, M/s) still hang with mostly their own, educate their own and create their own Cultures.
The S&M people (see dungeon crawlers) still hang with mostly their own, educate their own and create their own Cultures.
Do they intermingle? Yes, of course but when push comes to shove; they retreat to the "community" that makes them feel safe.
So are we a global community of kinky people? Heck no, we are a kinky population, consisting of many smaller communities made of even smaller tribes / pods.
For there to be a community it means that we are unified with something in common. Honestly, we have small collections of people who might be unified for a season on a specific topic.
IMHO, the worst thing to happen in the past 3 decades was the creation of BDSM as an umbrella label.
The Bondage people (see rope) still hang with mostly their own, educate their own and create their own Cultures.
The Discipline people (see D/s, M/s) still hang with mostly their own, educate their own and create their own Cultures.
The S&M people (see dungeon crawlers) still hang with mostly their own, educate their own and create their own Cultures.
Do they intermingle? Yes, of course but when push comes to shove; they retreat to the "community" that makes them feel safe.
So are we a global community of kinky people? Heck no, we are a kinky population, consisting of many smaller communities made of even smaller tribes / pods.
Arming our communities.
The people that take on the task of helping educate our population, take on a thankless task. This, we know. We as facilitators try and arm our communities with the best information we have at our disposal. Educating or "teaching" the residents of our communities allows them to make educated decisions to keep them safe; thus arming them against the predators and ass~cacti that slink around in our shadows.
By having someone in to Teach our members, we are advocating THEIR way of doing things. We can say "this is ONE way, of doing (xyz)" all we want; but the fact is that by having them TEACH, we are endorsing them as people also. It is my personal belief that we need to be Very careful WHO we promote as Teachers in our Culture.
Facilitators need to VET those they are bringing in to teach much more carefully then the general Joe Blow attendant. Unfortunately we don't have "accreditation" as other "educational facilities" have; so we have to trust the word of our fellow facilitators.
Sometimes we get lucky and have actual "medical personnel" that can and will teach classes like SDT's / SDI's .. or actual licensed lawyers that will teach "law vs BDSM". They already have accreditation from a confirmed Source ..the state you live in.
BUT what happens when we want say .. Paddling 101 ?? What I have learned to do, is ask the person for references, events they Have taught at. Ask around their local pond ?? would you let (xyz) paddle your "bottom" ? Okay NEW to presenting ..very cool, but be HONEST and let the facilitators know, so they can let their group know. We all gotta get started some place :)
What if the vetting process goes badly?
*"I won't let Joe Blow in my door let alone paddle my "bottom".*
*Hmm no, Joe Blow has been banned from events A, B & C ... and just is Creepy Joe.*
These are good signs you might not want that person influencing the new / younger generation of your community.
By having someone in to Teach our members, we are advocating THEIR way of doing things. We can say "this is ONE way, of doing (xyz)" all we want; but the fact is that by having them TEACH, we are endorsing them as people also. It is my personal belief that we need to be Very careful WHO we promote as Teachers in our Culture.
Facilitators need to VET those they are bringing in to teach much more carefully then the general Joe Blow attendant. Unfortunately we don't have "accreditation" as other "educational facilities" have; so we have to trust the word of our fellow facilitators.
Sometimes we get lucky and have actual "medical personnel" that can and will teach classes like SDT's / SDI's .. or actual licensed lawyers that will teach "law vs BDSM". They already have accreditation from a confirmed Source ..the state you live in.
BUT what happens when we want say .. Paddling 101 ?? What I have learned to do, is ask the person for references, events they Have taught at. Ask around their local pond ?? would you let (xyz) paddle your "bottom" ? Okay NEW to presenting ..very cool, but be HONEST and let the facilitators know, so they can let their group know. We all gotta get started some place :)
What if the vetting process goes badly?
*"I won't let Joe Blow in my door let alone paddle my "bottom".*
*Hmm no, Joe Blow has been banned from events A, B & C ... and just is Creepy Joe.*
These are good signs you might not want that person influencing the new / younger generation of your community.
As facilitators YOU are responsible for the arming of your community, you give them dud's; you're responsible when they get hurt.
The earning of Leathers
Lately I've been asked these questions a lot, so I figured I'd put down what little I know. In hopes that others would share their experience and I could learn more.
This is my take on earned leather, from many years of conversation with many different leather paths. IF you find fault with it, so be it; debate it with me and be prepared to prove your stance. This is how I DO what we DO.
I was taught there were 3 substantial rules about earned Leather:
* A: You could only give what you had earned
* B: Something had to be done in order to Earn it
* C: What you have given, you are responsible for
Simple? No, not really
From everything I have read and people I have talked with only 3 pieces were ever earned;
Boots
Boots were awarded after a period of time in which some form of growth had been accomplished. The symbolism of it is / was; now that they were walking the leather path, this form of leather will protect you on that path.
The Vestment
In whatever form be it Vest, Jacket or Overcoat; this was the primary armor of the leather person. It is / was the symbolization that your family / club / tribe had faith in you to do what was right by their Code of Conduct. In their eyes you had what it takes to represent them. I was taught when entrusted with my vestment, that at any time if I disrespected my club, or behaved in a manner that would bring dishonor to my club; my mentor would strip me of this responsibility. Once the vestment is earned they have the right and responsibility to watch for those that "have the spark". Along with the vestment came the "Rank" of Sir / Ma'am. In the clubs I grew up in, it was mandatory that all vested individuals were referred to as Sir or Ma'am. No matter if their personal journey was known to you or not. It was also stated that I was to introduce myself as "Sir Alan" to those I was introduced to; to not do so was disrespectful to those that had entrusted me with that rank. The vestment also gave me the responsibility of educating the newer members and guiding them on their path. When I thought they passed the **Test of Time** I could pass on my leathers to them; knowing full well that I am responsible for their actions in the club.
I do not own my vestment it is not mine, I have been entrusted with it's care. Till the day I receive my next rank.
The Cover
This the "Lifetime Achievement Award" if you will. Honestly; growing up in this scene, it was never talked about HOW you got one. I did manage to glean a few prerequisites from the older guys over the years.
* A decade or more in active service as a Sir to the club / community / tribe
* A life lived honest with himself first and then others
* A life lived as an open book to his club / community / tribe
* It can only be passed down to you from a Senior Leatherman (Elder) in your club / community / tribe
From some sources I've been told;
*"5 years of learning then 5 years of teaching and you're on your way"*
*"a general knowledge of all tools used in our scene"*
*"if you have a question about our Culture, go ask a Cover, they've got it covered"*
The tradition comes from the Military Officers Cover, and those rules apply to its wear, care and protocols. As far as a "title" going along with it, that is most certainly "regional". I've heard it said that it is disrespectful to not refer to someone with a Cover by anything other then Master (XYZ); but at the same time it is discourteous to introduce yourself as Master (XYZ). (Personally I'm still picking through the rubble on this one)
One thing is certain in my mind:
I do not own my Cover, it is not mine; I have been entrusted with it's care.
Every household / club / tribe is different and Many (mine included) have expanded this list to include the bracer and belt.
Side note A:
Ornamentation of a vestment ~
Entirely regional, but it's most recognized that family and club associations (pins / patches) go on the left. Ride pins and other "decorations" go on the right.
Center back patches are main club / organizational , colors / flags / advertisement (Title winners).
(any feedback on the following would be nice)
Ridge patch (top of shoulders) Home clubs of sponsorship affiliation.
Bottom patches or "Belt patches" worn on the bottom of the back ~ personal decorations / affiliations.
Side Note B:
Ornamentation of Covers ~
No ornamentation at all referred to as a "Daddy Cap" given by a family or group of friends that respect them as a "Daddy" to them all (????)
Silver brim edging or silver "Keeper" band means they do not switch.
Chain across the front as a "Keeper" band means that the Sir started off as a slave and worked their way up from there.
Front ornamentation (eagle / bear paw / ...) is a symbol or something that has great personal meaning to them .
Thank you for your time;
Master Alan
This is my take on earned leather, from many years of conversation with many different leather paths. IF you find fault with it, so be it; debate it with me and be prepared to prove your stance. This is how I DO what we DO.
I was taught there were 3 substantial rules about earned Leather:
* A: You could only give what you had earned
* B: Something had to be done in order to Earn it
* C: What you have given, you are responsible for
Simple? No, not really
From everything I have read and people I have talked with only 3 pieces were ever earned;
Boots
Boots were awarded after a period of time in which some form of growth had been accomplished. The symbolism of it is / was; now that they were walking the leather path, this form of leather will protect you on that path.
The Vestment
In whatever form be it Vest, Jacket or Overcoat; this was the primary armor of the leather person. It is / was the symbolization that your family / club / tribe had faith in you to do what was right by their Code of Conduct. In their eyes you had what it takes to represent them. I was taught when entrusted with my vestment, that at any time if I disrespected my club, or behaved in a manner that would bring dishonor to my club; my mentor would strip me of this responsibility. Once the vestment is earned they have the right and responsibility to watch for those that "have the spark". Along with the vestment came the "Rank" of Sir / Ma'am. In the clubs I grew up in, it was mandatory that all vested individuals were referred to as Sir or Ma'am. No matter if their personal journey was known to you or not. It was also stated that I was to introduce myself as "Sir Alan" to those I was introduced to; to not do so was disrespectful to those that had entrusted me with that rank. The vestment also gave me the responsibility of educating the newer members and guiding them on their path. When I thought they passed the **Test of Time** I could pass on my leathers to them; knowing full well that I am responsible for their actions in the club.
I do not own my vestment it is not mine, I have been entrusted with it's care. Till the day I receive my next rank.
The Cover
This the "Lifetime Achievement Award" if you will. Honestly; growing up in this scene, it was never talked about HOW you got one. I did manage to glean a few prerequisites from the older guys over the years.
* A decade or more in active service as a Sir to the club / community / tribe
* A life lived honest with himself first and then others
* A life lived as an open book to his club / community / tribe
* It can only be passed down to you from a Senior Leatherman (Elder) in your club / community / tribe
From some sources I've been told;
*"5 years of learning then 5 years of teaching and you're on your way"*
*"a general knowledge of all tools used in our scene"*
*"if you have a question about our Culture, go ask a Cover, they've got it covered"*
The tradition comes from the Military Officers Cover, and those rules apply to its wear, care and protocols. As far as a "title" going along with it, that is most certainly "regional". I've heard it said that it is disrespectful to not refer to someone with a Cover by anything other then Master (XYZ); but at the same time it is discourteous to introduce yourself as Master (XYZ). (Personally I'm still picking through the rubble on this one)
One thing is certain in my mind:
I do not own my Cover, it is not mine; I have been entrusted with it's care.
Every household / club / tribe is different and Many (mine included) have expanded this list to include the bracer and belt.
Side note A:
Ornamentation of a vestment ~
Entirely regional, but it's most recognized that family and club associations (pins / patches) go on the left. Ride pins and other "decorations" go on the right.
Center back patches are main club / organizational , colors / flags / advertisement (Title winners).
(any feedback on the following would be nice)
Ridge patch (top of shoulders) Home clubs of sponsorship affiliation.
Bottom patches or "Belt patches" worn on the bottom of the back ~ personal decorations / affiliations.
Side Note B:
Ornamentation of Covers ~
No ornamentation at all referred to as a "Daddy Cap" given by a family or group of friends that respect them as a "Daddy" to them all (????)
Silver brim edging or silver "Keeper" band means they do not switch.
Chain across the front as a "Keeper" band means that the Sir started off as a slave and worked their way up from there.
Front ornamentation (eagle / bear paw / ...) is a symbol or something that has great personal meaning to them .
Thank you for your time;
Master Alan
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)