April 20th 1985 I earned the right to be a full member of the club, and the rank of Sir.
After coming back to the states I spent the next 2 years wandering around southern California, San Diego, learning to surf in La Jolla, partying in Long Beach. I met a few guys down on the beach that really set off my s/m radar, and after a few well placed comments they asked if I was "family". So for the next 2 / 2.5 years, I lived with the guys and learned that s/m was fun but there was more, there was a structure in place that kept us all accountable. I slowly learned this thing they called being Leather, and it felt really, really good. ( But that's another whole story)
So for years I was hunting kinky people and scenes from S. Cali . to Seattle following the work I ended up in Florida and landed a sweet job landscaping at Disney's new animal kingdom.
A friend of mine that I worked with at Disney told me about a "Munch" he heard about in Ft. Lauderdale. We decided to drive down and check it out. The crowd was small and mostly the older generation (40+ to us in our late 20's early 30's) and very cliquey. Having been that route I was ready to bail from day one, but Brian convinced me to go back, he had made some contacts there and found out about this "Club Kink" that went on once or twice a month.
I was on AOL for a short time as Aderwyden, but the people in the s/m rooms were from all over the country. So we gave up on that idea. So we went back, we met a few people, but mostly hung in the back and tried to be invisible. If we got caught there our "morality clause" with Disney would get us fired in a heartbeat.
Between there and hitting the Castle in Ybor we were having a pretty good time. Some guys caught my interest and boy I heard called "Ricketty C" who made the dungeon furniture (being a novice woodworker myself he perked my interest) and an old bald guy sitting in the back that reminded me a lot of the "Senior Members" of clubs that I had gone to as a younger gent.
In "97" my contract with Disney was up, and at last I could explore this new scene down south. We went to Club Kink a few times and actually struck up a friendly relationship with the old bald guy in the back. He was nice enough to let me sit with him and ask a million stupid question, I also had the chance to watch and learn how he dealt with the insanity of this party scene and what appeared to be non-stop drama, drunken idiots and the "For Hire dom females" .. it was comical most of the time. It became real clear, real quick these people really didn't socialize within any kind of rules or structure that I was used to. After 6 months I quit trying to figure it out ..it was pointless.
In "98" I ran in to this woman through a LARPS vampire game (yes still hunting the goth chicks ..hey it was easy prey) Saw some books on her shelf I knew very well .. Urban Aboriginals, Leatherman's Handbook, Ties that Bind ..and some Picture book called screw the roses.
Knowing very well the nature of this woman from past experience with her, I kept my pie hole shut. Till one day I came over to the house and she looked like a train wreck, I think I made a comment :"good scene last night ?", she kinda looked at me funny and said ..how do you know? Cautious to the core I just replied I know a little about it. Then proceeded to ask her about the books on her shelf. I had already read most of them except the Mollys book, so I asked to borrow it ... she let me ..wow I laughed most of the way through the book .. princess, brat, sam, and switch were Okay terms to define yourself ?? really ??? since when ???
Asking the woman about the book, she acted like it was the best thing since sliced cheese. Big red flag for me there. But that's okay , she had access to this thing called AOL and there was some chat room called FlDumbnStupid ..opps I mean FLDOMSUB ..wow what an eye opener. So, I created another account on AOL as WhipMiester and hung around and watched.
Here was 100+ people every night talking about things in public that for me had always been hush - hush. I'll never forget one of the first question I asked in that chat room .. So what are the rules here? I got laughed outta the room, Rules ?? we don't need no stinking rules ... boy was I in the wrong place.
Over the next 6-8 months found out about a new Clearwater munch , and a club called Sacred Heart (My thoughts it's a club, it's gotta have some kind of structure) ..sadly wrong again ... little later the woman friend told me about ALCH ..Alternative Lifestyle Community Hall ... okay, I guess I'm a sucker for punishment ..lets try again. Same thing, very few rules pretty much everyone did whatever they felt like f'n doing. (couple years later ALCH was busted for video tapeing scenes, with hidden camera's)
In 1998 work petered out in the area and an old friend of mine said her Dad could really use a hand with his Landscape company back down in Naples .. pack up the car and away we go. Not 3 months after I get down here I meet a wonderful gal who we call Miss K, she loved everything about high protocol, and the serviced based Leather lifestyle ..woo hoo Jackpot. Shortly thereafter a slave in the area put out she wanted to Start a local Munch ..Miss K and I were there in a heartbeat, helping place chairs and set out the Black and Blue balloons for the"Computer Users Group" in the Edison Mall Food Court. After that first one I heard it decided this was just not gonna work. quickly it was moved to TBL and we really started having some fun. Miss K and I volunteered as much as we could, I built a few pieces of furniture along with other crafty types and we All played Welcome Wagon at the front door ( in my mind the last thing I wanted to see was that "snob": attitude I had encountered from other groups. It worked, the play parties sometimes exceeded 100-150 people, I was hooked, all that blood sweat and tears just payed off; as I watch all those people having a Blast.
This was the Joy of Community Service .. it rang through my head like the church bells at Christmas Mass. No one knew my name, but I had all the personal satisfaction of watching them all use the things I had created and compliment the party organizer on such a great party. At the second Party I met this wonderful young lady; milf, my age and hot as hell, after a lil persuasion on my part we became a Poly. (oy~vey we live and learn) A few months in a gent asked me about my flogging style; said he had never seen anything like it and could I show him ..Sure Come on over Sunday we'll have a BBQ, and use the gals as target practice... much to the delight of my 2 maso's. Sunday came and went and we had a blast.
The next month sitting at a different table, a couple was asking why I dressed so formally and referred to Everyone as Sir or Ma'am ..mr or miss and was so very regimented in the interaction with my girls and those around me, Once again come on over Sunday and we;ll talk about it .."Really Sunday what are we doing this week" ..Came from the table next to us, from the couple that had been there the time before .. Sure come on over .. and That is how the Only thing I have ever run got started ..the DsDg::
The Dom / sub Discussion group .. for close to 4 years we met bi-weekly, sometime weekly on Sunday to talk, discuss and banter about aspects of D/S , Leather, S/M. Fortunately other members of the community stepped up and would head up our round table discussion and we had a great time an many very close friendships were built in those years. I was asked to mentor a few of these close friends that we made, and all I asked is that they give back to the community freely as I was giving what I could freely to them. Word got around that I was teaching FUN classes about our scene, and I started getting invitations from Jacksonville to Lauderdale, from Tampa to Daytona to speak on S/M 101 , flogging, relationship Dynamics, and most importantly what Leather was to me and how I made it work in the 21st Century.
In 2000 with the help of close friends and my girls that had become family, we started “House Toujours Pret”with the Motto; “Always Ready / Service Before Self”.
Sometime in 2001, I had a falling out with the woman that was running this sweet lil party in our home town and got "uninvited" to future events. Really I did not think much of it, I had gotten wrangled into helping out at the TBL Goth nite surrounded by a ton of cute lil hottie Goth maso's who wanted nothing more then jump up on the cross an get beat ..wooh hoo Sadists heaven, with me a very hot Italian Domme I was mentoring, and one of the best Tops I had ever had a chance to teach jumped at the idea and let the Chaos reign !!!
About the same time we got an invite through the Sarasota Society an hour north that a young lady was setting up a fetish night in a local popular club and could we bring our show there ..Sure Why Not ..more tighty ass to beat.
The party and our show as a huge success, the organizer asked us to come up to her "Social club" to talk. Walking into her place as a dream come true ..very private,high ceilings and tons of space. She asked if we would be willing to do a "fetish" night for her club, being quick on my feet I said .", the deal was sealed. So we helped the Sarasota Society get their own play space for them to party locally. So for 4 years we assisted the swing club, somehow got talked into managing it every weekend and helped build positive relationships between the swinger and the Sarasota B/D/SM community.
1999 - 2006 were some Really busy years.. running the DSDG, creating our Household "House Toujours Pret", doing the Fetish nite, and being of service to the Huge Tampa Party once a month, and facilitating the Sarasota Society Parties, and managing "Club Cinsual" in between times, and add in I was informally recruited to be the eyes and ears for the current GM of the area.
During this time got reacquainted with a a great guy, and woodworker that had a dream about building a club in O-town, we sat around his living room table for days talking about club vs community center .. house space vs warehouse .. legalities ..I brought legal papers from the club I was managing and hoped to god this guy had the balls to pull this off it would be so sweet.
In 2005 I decided to make my slave “angyl” legally mine … and we got married
Then ..the great Explosion of 2005 / 2006 .. Our Hierarchy went to hell in a hand~basket. Major disasters happened all over the state, old timers dove for the closets. People that had been harboring resentments against one another started outing each other to work places, families..courts got involved ..OMG it was a mess. angyl and I were already severely burned out from the past 5 years said ,,fuck it you piranha's devour yourselves ... we'll come back in a few years when the blood has settled. We closed our Doors changed our number ..got married and tried to do the vanilla thing.
3 years later ..not so good, barely speaking and knowing something was just missing in our life .. knock on the door an our :"bad penny" is back living with us again for like the 6th time in 10 years. The positive thing is he motivates me to go back out to the mens clubs and go back to basic ..screw the politics ..just have fun. And that we did .. didn't take us long to find the local leather guys and be the support crew for a New Leather Mens night at the Local Gay bar ..woot my Leather fix is gett'n juiced back up. For the next year we had a blast with the guys .. Friday night Dances, Sat night Bucket nite (drunk nite) Sunday Tea Dance .. once a month LUL night ..(Leather/ Uniforms / Levis night ..what a friggin recharge that I needed so badly.
Oct 2010 one of my favorite students finds me on facebook; "Sir, can we talk?" The next evening we had drinks at his hangout; and he says; .. "eyy there's a rope thing tomorrow night and your favorite "twisted second cousin" {see:switch} should be there". Okay what the heck we'll go.
The next morning, head off for a haircut ..just hit the chair and the cellphone goes off;
Angyl: "Sir you need to get home NOW
::personal panic starts to kick in :::
Me: Why ?
Angyl: "Your brother CS is on the phone and pissed"
Me: "CS ? Cec** St*** ?"
Angyl: "Yes"
Me: "How did he get our number?"
Angyl: "I don't know, but you did have drinks with N*** last night."
Me: "Well hell, Rudy (my barber) cut it quick I gotta go NOW".
Well, I broke more laws then I want to admit getting home and calling back one of my oldest friends.
CS:"Hello .."
Me: "Hey Rickity C "
CS: "Sir, where the F*** have you been?"
ME: "hmm in Cape Coral ?"
CS: "We did it brother, we did it "
Me: "Hey, hey, hey, wait a minute you have no pictures you have no proof."
CS: "No Sir, the Community Center we dreamed about it is Real, been real for 3 years.
Holy shyt the motivated bastard had done it. 2 weeks later got to get up there and see it, and yes it is damn near everything CS had planned in his head and we had put down on paper..
That month went down to check out the new Naples munch, told angyl on the way there. "Kinda gonna be nice going to a munch where nobody knows us and we can kinda sit in the back and just observe". Well that lasted all of about 15 min, walked in the door and it was a 10 yr reunion; it was like we had never left all the old faces and a ton of young people. Close to 60 people if I remember right. Then the icing on the cake, in strolls Sir Top and bonnie They were the "presenters" for the evening. Needless to say our cover was blown right there.
Within a month old friends started asking me to get involved with that munch south of me. Something was not right there, so we did. We got involved and found a mess load of unethical behavior by the facilitator Andy S. I started suggesting educational classes on basics like, Red Flags, communication, and negotiation. Some I taught, some others in the community stepped up and led. Shortly afterward Andy S. said he had no choice but to miss a munch and asked me to step in till he got back, Service Before Self , "Sure NP, I'll keep your seat warm", 10 months later he still had not returned. The Florida-Naples Area Munch is doing great, real warm inviting group of people and we are steadily growing.
During 2011 with the help of other locals we started to rebuild the Florida-Naples Area Munch. Early on there were sometimes 6-12 of us there regularly, something had to change. I called in a favor or two and some of our states best teachers and presenters came and presented on their favorite topics.
We started to grow, and soon had a nice monthly gathering . During this growth met a nice couple new to the B/D/SM scene, but not alternative lifestyles; that were extremely outgoing and had the qualities to take over. Well, the original munch facilitator had not been back in over 2 years,in fact had moved to Texas. I tried to convince him to turn the munch over to actual Naples residents, I always got the same reply;"No, I own the Munch, accept that or I will find someone else to replace you".
So, while everyone was at the BASH in 2012, I created the Naples Florida Munch group on FL, and left his ownership to himself. Yes, I got called everything but a white male by the online crowd for doing so, including the best one "the mutinous pirate" which really cracked me up. Very shortly thereafter I turn the group & munch over to the Naples couple that had helped rebuild the group. They have continued to keep it growing, and started a MAST chapter, Rope Group and Coffee socials.
Towards the end of 2012 a young group in Port Charlotte wanted to start a local monthly party, and asked if I would help. They said that they had been told I had assisted in a few, maybe I would be willing to help them. "Sure, heck I love a good party."
I told them the horror stories of clubs & parties state wide from the past decade, and suggested they do and not do a few things.
After about 3-4 months they decided they knew enough and did not need my assistance. Excellent now I can just come and play. That lasted about 3 months, they said and did some things that blew up on them. These were the exact things I had somewhat strongly suggest would be bad ideas, and the parties crashed.
Another gentleman Daniel stepped up with his girl Dawn and offered to bail them out financially. He called me and asked if I would show him the ropes; I said; "Sure as long as we follow a few simple rules, that I call the 7 Deadly Sins. He agreed wholeheartedly and agreed that for this type of thing to survive we had to have structure.
Within 2-3 months the young group disappeared, and the gentleman was on his own. He called me again and said, "I heard you might have some furniture you could lend me. Just till I get this up and running again". I told him by all means he could use em, and asked about his DM's. He said he was hoping I could help him with that also, Done I said.
In the middle of 2013 our small Cape Coral Munch found a new home, and started really growing. The great people who started it, and the local people came together and made something to be proud of. In Oct(?) 2013 Master Fred asked if I would be willing to be an organizer with him. Since he was out of town for 5 days of the week, and flew in on Friday night. I could assist him with set up, and fill in when work or weather prevented him from making it home. I accepted as long as I did not have to present (LOL). (11/14) Averaging 30-40 people now even on boring topics, so it's doing good.
On March 14th 2014 I was asked to show up to one of our regular monthly parties early, and found a rather large group of my friends from all over the state inside. At the far end of the room stood two of the people I respect most in the world; Master Louis Michael and Sir Paul. Together Paul and I knelt in front of our community and our "Dad" Master Louis. He first presented Sir Paul his Cover that was long over due. Then with angyl on my right, jj on my left, and the rest of my family beside me, Master Louis & Master Paul welcomed this youngster into their ranks. I will never forget my brothers words "We all know you're a scrappy lil MF. Do me a favor? Pick your fights carefully" & Master Louis with that Daddy look "You disrespect those that wore these before us, and I will yank that bitch off your head and cut it in two". I have no doubt he was not joking, I will do my best Sir.
Last year some friends up in Tampa kept talking about wanting an old school mentality leather club. I was excited, sure when you get it going lemme know I'll join. After a few months and an unsuccessful attempt to "chapter" to another club. They all said why don't we make our own? Sure, why not. So over rum Buckets at the Flamingo Resort we started talking. Everyone put in what they wanted and were looking for, education, friendship, and service, were at the top of the list in that order. Someone asked, *"so are we going to be pansexual?"* I was maybe to quick to reply, "Leather has nothing to do with sexual preference". So, UNION-Tampa Leather Club was born, using the technology of today it was much simpler then I thought it was going to be. Until ... they voted me as Commanding Officer (president),
I warned em. I don't think this is a good idea, but typical people with Leather hearts; headstrong SoB's they did it anyway. So 6 months in and around 15 very active members, it appears we'll be okay.
Well here it is Nov. 2014, The LXIX parties are still going strong, they have all their own furniture but one piece. And young blood is being taught by my myself to DM. They are doing very nicely, and have kept Service not the $$ in the front of their minds, we'll see how this goes.
Looks like 2015 will start Part III .. ohhh boy.
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